spontaneous memories

Desire

2009-07-25T11:38:00.003+08:00

I learned something over these years..

A coach can teach someone everything they know..

But..

No one can coach desire..

STRUGGLE..

2009-03-24T00:10:00.002+08:00

i thought it is suppose to easier year for me??

why am i still suffocating..

when is the storm ending??

will i live to see the rainbow??

ARGH....

Time

2009-01-20T00:10:00.002+08:00

Dream as though as u live forever..

Live life as though as u are dying tomorrow..

Red

2009-01-15T23:12:00.003+08:00

Change..

RED..

2009

2009-01-08T00:35:00.002+08:00

Been thinking of wat i want to acheive in 2009..

Learn to print..

Learn to dance..

Run a marathon..

Get a tattoo..

Lose another 7..

MPA( if possible)

Travel( at least once)

Last but not least..

Earn my name..

2 hrs left

2008-12-31T21:30:00.001+08:00

2008..

It is truly a bad year for me..

I have lost a few things in the last 364 days..

I have lost so much tt i cant think straight anymore..

It was a plunging roller coaster ride for me as things just get worse and worse by day..

Last day of the year..

I'm sitting at home eatting maggi..

It just cant get worse anymore..

Fuck YOU 2008!!!

Christmas

2008-12-25T23:49:00.001+08:00

251208

This christmas feels like a london christmas..

Grey, Rainy, Gloomy..

Feeling LOST

2008-12-18T19:02:00.002+08:00

Bad day..

Lost too many things this year..

Can't believe it..

I fear 2009 now..

Someday i might lose myself..

Blossom

2008-11-10T21:12:00.002+08:00

Time: 01052007

Someone who i met for the first time told me this..

"I'm a late bloomer, but i bloom better."

When is my turn to bloom?

16

2008-11-08T17:19:00.005+08:00

"Wat is it u have to lose in life?"

My answer: Time..

16 years..

3rd

2008-11-02T21:38:00.001+08:00

Came in third..

Didnt feel like i won..

Tired..

One call away..

2008-08-31T04:15:00.003+08:00

The only constant is Change..

Somethings dun..

I'm still One call away..

Sick and tired

2008-08-30T00:41:00.002+08:00

I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired..

i just want to drop EVERYTHING and start fresh..

A new start..

Soon..

Swim. Persevere. Dream

2008-08-18T20:14:00.003+08:00

Peaceful is the word to describe how i feel whenever i go for a swim..

Everytime i go for a swim, i love to soak myself by the edge of the pool b4 i start my swim. Stare at the other side of the pool, setting a target lap im gg to swim for the day..Under water, i realize tt u dun hear anything else but ur own breathing, u dun see anything else but the other end of the pool..No fast car zooming past u, no people walking pass u, no any other colours but blue, no funny thoughts, no distractions. Just me and the pool..

Lap 11

Tired, on the verge of giving up this lap already but decided to stop the swim and stay afloat.. As i was floating in the middle of pool, i started thinking abt stuff..

i realize tt achieving personal dream is like swimming, swimming to the other side of the pool.. You jump into a pool, feeling calm and peaceful, thinking the pool look really harmless, enjoying the view of the pool.. But the moment u start to swim for the other end, u feel surrounded, weightlessness. U feel tt u are kicking against nothing, ur stroke feels like u are pulling something invisible infront of u, like u r fighting against something tts not even there.. U grasp for air, struggling to swim forward, trying to stay afloat..

In the water, no one sees ur struggle, no one cares abt u. You swim at ur own pace, u decide on wat pace u want to swim, swim too fast and u struggle for air, swim too slow and u feel like u are not moving forward and it becomes a mental game with urself.. I decided to swim at my own comfortable pace knowing tt im still moving forward and not struggling..

Persevere.. the most important key to reach the other end of the pool, achieving ur dream.. In the pool, only u decide on whether u want to stop swimming forward or stop half way through.. Anyone who tt is persistent enough, reaching the other end is just a matter of time..

Quitters Drown..

I'm just floating..

Another you

2008-08-14T12:56:00.003+08:00

Love this song..

To "D"

This is how i feel now..

小偷. 山贼.海盗

2008-08-10T03:51:00.008+08:00

I miss u still..

Gone..

Goodbye..

Mankind

2008-08-08T05:23:00.002+08:00

Mankind..

UGLY..

Lost FAITH in them..

Nightmare

2008-08-07T00:58:00.003+08:00

I refuse to sleep..

9 days..

In this nightmare, i saw the monster that i FEAR, Myself and my actions..

Zombie

2008-08-01T11:36:00.004+08:00

After 2 nights of drinking, i tell myself i will not fall again.. its not worth the pain..

Be cold to everything..

It's a blessing for not having any emotions..

WELCOME BACK OLD ERIC..

ZERO

2008-07-30T23:48:00.000+08:00

No love, No guilt.

I feel Zero.

Dark and Cold

2008-07-30T03:41:00.002+08:00

"the night is the darkest before dawn."

I'm facing this stormy and cold night all by myself..

Will dawn please come soon?

To "A"

2008-04-23T01:01:00.003+08:00

It is not what you are underneath, it is what you do that truely defines you..

Room 416

2008-04-04T00:41:00.010+08:00

Everytime i walked into Room 416, i hear a story. A sad story.

this man in rm 416 is a strong man who has been fighting all his life for a better future for all his love ones. hoping someday he can provide the means for his family and share his world with this special someone. Last august, he made a choice.. and he went for it, leaving a lot of things behind. Including this special someone..

In this room, my 1st time seeing how a strong person being torn apart. But, i still see him fighting, fighting for time, fighting back his tears and fighting for her heart again..

This is not a typical fight in the ring, no 10 rounds, no refeere, just this man and 2 opponets and he is fighting in the dark.. Their dark secrets.. She ended it like 2190 doesnt mean anything to her, like it was just a dream. Over the phone, in HIS car, in HIS arms..

Words.Heartfelt words tt came straight from his heart. Hoping tt these words can still warm her iced cold heart.. Her words.. tore him apart again.. as he found out tt she has turn her back against him a long time ago.. he fights his agony and pull himself up again just to face the second blow.. Her lies.

Tears. a measurement of how much they have been through together.. too much

Honesty. A very important key in a relationship, she used to hold this key until someone took it away from her with his pack of lies.. His lies.. Made her give up everything and made her lie to the man in room 416 and including herself.This man in room 416 sure made some mistake in this relationship but he dun deserve this lie..This lie made a strong man give up on himself, shake him down into pieces, but he is not gg down without a fight.. He is back for 7 days to fight tHIS.

Gone. She have once again worn this man down to his knees, turned her back against him and shut the door completely.. 2190, 6years, full stop.

This man in this room have nothing left but memories and a sad story to tell..

Responsibility

2008-03-31T00:30:00.003+08:00

This is a very heavy word..
This word has turned my world around..
This word made me give up on a lot of things..
Things that i love..
Too much..

Connected again!

2008-03-26T23:06:00.003+08:00

Like finally!! Past mth have been a hard mth for me.. Cant pay up my bills, made a BIG decision, screw up a lot of stuff.. Haiz.. When can i ever live a life that doesnt need to worry abt meeting ends.. Even my mum not paying me for the work... WTF??? When can i really.... Haiz..

HK!!!

2008-02-20T16:36:00.003+08:00

After all the CNY mayhem, finally get to go through some of my shots in hk.. Here's some..

Wall of surnames

This is how i felt when i cant speak a word of cantonese!!! ( ALIEN!!! )

HK folks

This is the beggar tt i gave 500HKD for lunch..(Trust me, its a gd feeling)

LOMO guys.. (need to thank them for being so helpfully in assisting me in finding my camera)

Overall, it was a gd trip and i hereby need to thank jOhO for letting me be his assistant for this trip.. Simon and Natalie, thank u for making it a lovly wedding.. i truly enjoyed it.. Thanks!!

Just my luck..

2008-02-04T00:19:00.000+08:00

Today 4d's 1st prize is.....4291..

My heart SUNK like how titanic sunk into the ocean!!!!

My balls felt like it hit the iceberg like how titanic hit the iceberg......

day 2

2008-01-30T01:23:00.000+08:00

day2,

woke up with less than 4hrs of slp and the freaking weather was freezing my ass off!!! The piercing wind was so cold that the moment i step out of the building, i jump back into the building for shelter... wah lan.. the bus stop is like 300m away la!!! the thought of it just freezes my balls off!! OMG!!!

Took the public bus back to hotel, and it started to rain... WaH piang, the rain makes hk feels so gloomy sia... walked ard till noon and had lunch with my cousin and i tell u the most amazing scallop u can ever have is in sushi tei.... FAT and juicy sia... After a great meal with my cousin, walk ard looking for more interesting things to photograph.. This time ard i realise every 200m i walk i sees a beggar... For the 1st time im feeling so bad for a beggar bcoz i feel tt having a roof over them in such cold weather is important.. How can anyone withstand such unforgiving weather?.. Walk over to one of the beggar and gave him 500hkd and told him to get himself some food..

Trust me, it was a great feeling to see someone who is really thankful of ur help...

Back

2008-01-29T02:12:00.000+08:00

Just came back frm hk 2 nights ago..

Day1
Excited to c hk again cause this time ard i get to shoot it.. BUT the freaking weather was damn cold lor and 1st thing i realise is tt the light there is flat due to the season.. Nevertheless still quite excited to go visit my friend and cousin. After check in to hotel and some admin stuff, i cant wait to get out of the room to feel the enviroment and expose myself to a new enviroment..
As soon as i hit the streets, i just cant help not to look at the walls and the billboards there.. ITS SO COLORFUL and just cant believe tt the level of photography there is so high.. worn down streets and big ass poster( high level photos).. so much CONTRAST..

Ordering lunch was a nightmare as i cant speak a word of cantonese.. I feel like a ALIEN!! OMG!!

Dinner with my friend and show me wat is Maggi mee goreng.. Yeap.. U got me right.. flew all the way there to eat MAGGI MEE GORENG!!! It was just heavenly... didnt know tt maggi mee can be so nice.. trust me.. its a must try..

Didnt shoot much cause not really on the right film and too lazy to bring out the digi cam.. and all i remember was tt i walk the whole of mongkok with my friend.. the shopping there is just WAH LAU!!! CRAZY!! so tempting!!!!

stayed over @ my friend's place, greeted his uncle who is a super nice and friendly person who is abt 50plus close to 60 yr old.. Nx thing i realise the apartment is so small like as though u r living in a storeroom.. once i got used to the space and i took a gd look at it, the place is so worn down tt it feels tt it has aged with the ppl who lives in the buliding and u feel tt the buliding have really done its part in providing the folks with a roof over their head.. protected them frm the cold weather i must say ( Freezing lor).. How often u feel for a old buliding like its a human being? Took a closer look and i realise tt it has wat singapore dun...

Character..

Words

2008-01-18T10:00:00.000+08:00

Words, a key to screw ur mind..

Bad Dream

2008-01-16T00:45:00.001+08:00

How often do u look at urself in the mirror and say: " yesterday was just a bad dream."

I do it very often these days...

1st

2008-01-14T01:50:00.001+08:00

Year 2008, i hope i can have a smooth sailing year ahead and have more time to shoot my own stuff..